I want THAT man mode

Today I woke up in "I want THAT man mode". The mode where I sit in my head remembering "him", our fun times together, every
conversation, every moment with him. Now I know where this mode gets me... It gets me in the land of fantasy, where we live together, laughing and happy. Totally in love. Where all I think about is him. The world where he is the perfect man for me and I am the one he desires. Then along with those wonderful memories comes the memories that ended this relationship. The ones where he changed
his mind. The memories of horrible words passing between us. Of rejection and depression. Where, even after he broke it off between us, I couldn't stop thinking of him every minute of every day. The many arguments I had with God, praying this man would " see the light". Praying God would change His mind and see that that man and I should be together. That was the mind mode that left me in many months of depression. So why would I want to go back there? I don't know. Maybe the enemy knows it's my weak spot still and now that I have made a major breakthrough and am starting to seek Gods peace first, he wants to draw me back into that "world". Or maybe it is just me. My humaness, wanting to be loved. I really DONT KNOW. But I do KNOW this... It is up to me to change those old tapes. To renew my mind daily. To seek first the Kingdom of God... THEN all these things shall be added unto me. So here is what God says to us today thru "Jesus Calling" and the words couldn't be more poignant.

SAVE YOUR BEST STRIVING FOR SEEKING MY FACE. I am constantly communicating with you. To find Me and hear My voice, you must seek Me above all else. Anything you desire more than Me becomes an IDOL. When you're determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your conscious. Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk to Me about it. Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so you can see it from My perspective. If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it. If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart. SEEK ME FIRST and foremost; then the rest of you life will fall into place, piece by piece.
1Chron 16:11. Matt. 6:33

Jesus couldn't be much more clear to me than that. Thank you Lord for helping me to renew my mind, to change those old tapes and to trust in You to give me the perfect, the right desires of my heart as I seek You first and make You the Man I think on in my "Man mode"