A much needed discipline from My Father... Ouch

So here I am, I started this blog because I had been posting my thoughts on Facebook and my friends had been responding with such positive affirming messages. That my thoughts and the words God had given me about His word and how it applied to my life, was touching them, ministering to them, and amazing them. Well how quickly I would crave more of that praise, that affirmation. Within less than a week of doing this, I started looking forward to those messages from my friends, affirming ME, more than hearing from God what He wants
to tell me, to tell us. Prideful me! And when the messages didn't come on yesterdays post, I was a little hurt, a little mad, and soooo wrong in feeling all of that! So last night in my last prayer to God before going to sleep I repented for my selfish thoughts and said to God keep me from getting prideful, getting all "puffed up" with those thoughts of " look what I said, look what I did for them" and help me to keep me focused only on Your affirmation, not mans (or woman's in this case). Because it is ALL about You Lord and NOT about me. So in my devotional,Jesus Calling, today the Word came back to me, and here is what He says:

Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride, inferiority; sometimes both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailored for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong, it is meaningless.
Don't look for AFFIRMATION in the wrong places; your own evaluations or those of other people. The ONLY source of real affirmation is MY unconditional Love. I DIED FOR YOUR SINS so that I might clothe you in My garment of praise. This is how I see you: RADIENT IN MY ROBE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. Be receptive to ONLY My affirmation, which flows continually from the throne of Grace.

Wow!! His love and concern for every single detail, thought, weakness in my life amazes me daily. Thank you Lord for SEEING Me, all of me, the good, bad, beautiful and ugly, me and loving me enough to correct me. Keep me focused and fixed on ONLY affirmation from You and help me to speak your words only. That I might see your glory reflecting back at me through my sisters eyes.

My Presence in the present

I can't even describe the peace I feel more each day I draw closer to Jesus. And really, it's a "no brainer" to know this would be the outcome of my actions. I mean He has only been telling me this for the past 8-9 months when due to a good relationship gone bad, I chose to go down that wrong road again. I decided it was a good idea to dwell on a man instead of "THE MAN". And that road led me to the ledge and at that ledge, instead of reaching up and grabbing God's hand that He was extending out to me, once again I chose to just slide down that ledge. And once I let myself get to the bottom of that pit... And even with all my "head knowledge" about our Father
in Heaven, I layed in that pit. Overcome with doubt, self pity, feeling so desperately unwanted and unlovable. And I almost gave up a few times. I did tell God I was done! (FYI NOT a good thing to declare EVER!) Not with Him, but with church, with my bible study, with wanting life really. Once I did that... That is when the enemy really swooped in and started making me feel unhappy and discouraged with some of the women in my bible study. But my mom had told me "Co that is the FIRST thing the enemy of your soul would want you to do, is stop going there. But it is the LAST thing you should do is stop meeting with ur "sisters". And so I pressed in, closer to Him, and kept going. And you know what? The promise happened! He made a way of escape from my miry pit of clay, and like I said, Duh, Co!! Ohhh sometimes I wonder " what was I thinking!!!"
So today's inspiration from my favorite devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, of course speaks to me today, and I hope to you too.
in Christ,
Co

KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME! Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more and more of your attention, you are losing site of Me. Yet I am with you, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation, and I WILL NOT allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear. Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow. If you try to carry tomorrow's burdens today, you will eventually fall under the load. Discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today. It is in the present moment that I will walk close to you. Keep your focus on MY PRESENCE IN THE PRESENT.
Pslm 73:23; 1Cor 10:13
Pslm 63:23

Trust issues

started posting my thoughts on my walk with the Lord on Facebook but not all of u are on there. I am in the process of setting up a blog site but until then I just wanted to reach out to you girlfriends to encourage, uplift and draw nearer to Him. Here is today's writing
Today's word in Jesus Calling is for me and you!
"I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My Hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy-even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things ARE secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are MINE. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebelion; doubting My promises to care for you. Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I will show you the next step, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go.
Deut 29;29 (read this scripture. So good!) Pslm 32:8

There seems to be this recurrent theme He is trying to get across to us girlfriends... Don't worry and trust Him. As women I think we have to keep being reminded of these things, and this why, at least for me... I have TRUST issues!! Especially with men. And, unfortunately just about every man that has been in my life has done something to me to cause this lack of trust in me. So to learn to trust in Jesus, and our Father in Heaven, well let's just say, it's a BIG thing for me. And then also as women, mothers, wives whatever role we have taken on, we always "worried" about a million things. What to make for dinner, will we have enough money to buy the groceries for that dinner, will my child do good on that test today, does he find me attractive still, will I be alone forever?  OMG, the worries go on and on for years and years, right? So when He says "Trust Me and don't worry" that is
sometimes like telling us not to BREATHE! So darn hard, but yet so NECESSASARY to get this in order to live life in His Fullness otherwise He wouldn't keep telling us, right? Ok God I hear you. And I am so thankful for your loving patience that keeps on gently, (sometimes not so gently, like He has to hit me over the head with a frying pan sometimes cause, well cause i just don't listen!), reminding me to trust in the Lord with ALL my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In ALL my ways acknowlege Him and He shall direct my path. Proverbs 3:5