Things are Looking Up

In the past few days God has been speaking to me a lot, but with a common thread of just two words, "Look Up". For me, these two words have had much meaning to me lately. Coming out of a long bout of depression and a difficult living situation, things are looking up for me. It's been a difficult year and there were definately times when I felt like God had forgotten about me. I had definitely forgotten about myself, about who I AM in Christ. Once again I was in a pit of despair, once again I had allowed myself to go there, I was not looking up or looking to Him, at all. It was all about me... My troubles, my circumstances, my pain, me me me! I found myself saying to God, "Hey, what about ME? Did you forget about me? Why aren't you fixing things for me? Don't you see how much I am hurting?" I wasn't angry at Him, but I did doubt that I was worthy of His blessings, that somehow I had not prayed enough, not done enough for the kingdom, let Him down so much, that He was maybe just done with me. Because once again, I was at this bad place in my head, in my heart, and, really Co? How many times are you going to do this to yourself? How many times are you going to allow doubt, condemnation, rejection, fear and shame to take control of your mind? How many times will Jesus forgive me for "going there" again? I'm supposedly a "seasoned" Christian. I've seen His blessings poured out many times. I've come through many situations, many times over, and He always gets me through it, yet, here I am again, doubting, crying, giving up.  You'd think we'd get it by now, right? Thankfully God knew we'd do this, go "there" over and over, so we would never be holy enough, righteous enough, to be in his presence, so He sent His Son. He knew that when we focused on ourselves, our situation, our troubles, the world around us, only looking down, taking our eyes off of Him, would result in pain and torture for us. Which is why he tells us over and over to KEEP LOOKING UP... Keep our eyes on HIM. "Seek FIRST the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you."  Look up to your heavenly reward, eternity with Him. Keep your eyes on "the prize", which IS Jesus. It's only when I get out of myself, and look up to Him, that He pulls me up, out of the miry clay. It's only when I look up, that my ashes are turned to beauty, my sorrow to joy. And it's only when I stop looking up, that I get down, so deep that it looks hopeless. But it NEVER is! He NEVER forsakes me an you. Nothing NOTHING can take us out of His HANDS. Look up my friends, for it is only there, in His Presense we can survive.